It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
