she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
