You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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