the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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