He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
