I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
They have beer where we have blood.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
