and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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