So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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