I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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