Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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