You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
