Your mouth is God's brothel.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
