You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My first STD was from a foam party
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
