Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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