Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she peed on how many people?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
