do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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