My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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