No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
