sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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