she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
