she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize