did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
