Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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