I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
