idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
