i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
