He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
