I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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