So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
