her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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