Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize