if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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