we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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