the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
