North Korea, Best Korea!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
