Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am spending my child support on dildos
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
