And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
