im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize