you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
