My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
