One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize