mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
