Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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