Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
