Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
