Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
