I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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