how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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