did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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