Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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