really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
