I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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