as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you never un-have a 4some
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
