dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
