that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
