This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Randomize
