I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
