Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
