I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
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