what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
