Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
