I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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