loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
