we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
