well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
