On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
